Envy Is A Green Eyed Female Dog
by Dreaming-Of-A-Nightmare
Summary: It's not like he has feelings for either one of them; it's just that Finn misses spending what little time he can with Puck without Puck spending it with Artie instead. .:. written for an anonymous prompt. not slash, just good bromance. rated T for light cursing and implications.


**A/N: Prompted by Anonymous on Tumblr.**

* * *

"Hey, dude, I thought we were going to hang out this weekend," Finn frowns as he tosses a football up into the air and catches it, his cell phone pinned to his shoulder with his ear.

On the other end of the line, Puck makes a hissing sound, the one he makes when he's exhaling stiffly, looking for the right thing to say that won't piss easily-angered-Finn off. "Um. See. That's just the thing: I forgot that I promised Artie I'd do something with him first. But I'm free on Sunday, okay? We can go off-campus and chill somewhere."

Artie goes to college in Columbus, but he drives up to the community college near Lima every weekend to see Puck. And it usually sucks the time Finn even gets with Puck away, since Finn is trying to hard to catch up to Rachel by doing well in school, getting a job, and hopefully making enough money to go to New York to join her. He almost married her, for Christ's sake; he isn't giving up that easily, even if he let her go. He still loves her, still wants her to be happy. But he thinks he can make himself happy, too, if he works hard enough to earn her back.

Still, between his on-campus job, Puck's own, and their collective schoolwork, it's like finding a needle of free time in a haystack of work. But Finn isn't complaining about finding the needle; he's complaining about sharing that needle's worth of time by himself, since Puck seems so preoccupied with Artie these days.

"Man, you know, I feel like we're not best buds anymore. You keep going to _Artie,_" Finn grumbles quietly into his phone as he catches his football one final time and sets it aside, gripping his cell tightly in his hand as he sits up on his bunk bed. "When is there going to be time for me? You're the only person I have left!"

It's true. Rachel's moved on, and everyone's gone their separate ways after graduating, now that the Glee club members who were younger – like Artie and Tina and the like – have graduated as well. Even Kurt is gone; he didn't get into NYADA (which is stupid, by the way, because his step bro deserved it just as much as his girlfriend did, in Finn's opinion), but he still went to New York for school otherwise. He got a scholarship to another school, one that centers more around design, but has a theatre troupe that Kurt joined, and that's that, really.

And then, of course, that leaves Finn on his own. Puck's the only one who went to the same community college as him. He's trying to make better of himself as well, to live beyond the expectations everyone had of him, to clean pools and pretend to be a rock star and turn into a dope-head or something instead. But that isn't Puck. He's grown out the mohawk and started doing his schoolwork, and now he plans to really go through with getting his bachelor's degree. It's awesome. Finn supports him.

But he wants a little time with Puck just to zone out on a video game (even on Live; it doesn't have to be in person, just through a headset over the Xbox is fine, really!) or movie or a game of one-on-one basketball or something, for crying out loud.

"Look, Finn, bro, I totally get it, and I'm sorry. It's just… Artie's really cool. And we, um, get along great. Have Star Wars marathons and debates and stuff. You're not as into that shit, so I get my kicks for it with Artie. It's just how we roll. It's nothing personal, you know?" Puck defends mildly, trying to sound as gentle as possible, let Finn down easy.

Finn sighs gruffly and waves it off. He's resorted to pouting. "Yeah, man, whatever. Fine. Have fun." And he hangs up. He hates it, he really does. He doesn't even know what sort of relationship Puck and Artie even _have. _For all Finn knows, they are just friends. They could be blowing each other on the weekends, secretly dating, or something along those lines. He'd like to know, actually. Just to be sure. Because if they loved each other or something, hey, that'd be totally cool. Finn would understand.

But as it stands, they just seem to be friends and _ignoring _Finn, and that's _not _cool.

#

Yeah, okay, so this might not be his most brilliant idea ever. But then again, he has his reasons, which sort of justifies things, right? Right.

Finn follows Puck out of his dorm and into his car. He starts the one he's in – his roommate lent Finn his pickup truck, Finn claiming his needs gas but he has no money for it, and will pay his roommate back later for the cost of gas he'll use, he _swears _– and tags along a car or two behind, keeping is eye on Puck's the entire time.

Artie's in the passenger's seat, and they're headed to the nearest mall. Finn watches at a distance as they buy slushies and pick out their straws and have a slushie war, Artie wheeling around the fountain and Puck chasing him, causing a ruckus until the mall cops come and kick them out for making a mess and being too loud.

Laughing, Puck charges Artie out of the mall and jumps up to sit atop the chair, feet at Artie's back, as they wheel down the parking lot. Puck pushes himself out and jumps down right before they reach Puck's car.

They look like they're having a lot of fun, actually. Like it's normal for them just to go wild and do whatever they want when they're together.

Finn feels a shameful flush of white-hot jealousy pitch to and fro in his gut. He shifts uncomfortably, feeling suddenly guilty for spying. But he can't stop now; he needs to know just what Puck is ditching him for.

He follows the pair to their next destination: lunch at Red Robin. Puck gets a monstrous burger and Artie does, too, and they talk and laugh and Finn sits at another table across the restaurant, watching them and feeling more like a loser by the minute, especially once they chug their milkshakes – strawberry for Artie, chocolate for Puck – and proceed to see who can wolf down their French fries the fastest.

Finn orders a burger and a vanilla malt and doesn't touch his fries, but eats the rest.

#

By the end of the day, Puck and Artie are back at Puck's dorm room, Puck's two roommates (he had to go with the cheapest dorm available, a tri-share room) out crashing a frat party to a fraternity they don't belong to, clearly, since they aren't staying at the frat house. Still, they're out for the night, so Puck and Artie are in there, taking up space and doing whatever.

Finn can't see, since it's up on the third floor. He grunts in frustration and glances around. There's a big oak tree, strategically planted as part of the landscape, that reaches about as high as he needs. He climbs up into it and sits in its branches near the top that can hold his weight, and there, he can see into the room better, now.

They're on Puck's bed in the larger room, Artie's chair and protective gloves off to the side. He's shoulder-to-shoulder with Puck, and they're playing Gears of War 2. They purposely push one another gently as they play, Artie leaning into Puck's lap to distract him, Puck locking Artie's head in the crook of his elbow when he does in order to distract Artie in turn.

They really, really look like they enjoy each other's company more than Puck enjoys Finn's, and it starting to really weight heavily on him.

He sees movement and hears Puck's muffled voice, the game on a menu screen. He comes over to the window and opens it. "Man, it's stuffy in here! We really need to throw out those pizza boxes, huh?" and Finn can hear Artie laugh. "Anyway, I'm done playing this. Care to move on, dude?"

Finn tries to stand on the branch to see in the room more. Moment of truth, it seems: are they just friends, or not? If not, Finn will back off. But if they are, then Finn feels like he needs to give Puck a piece of his mind.

Just then, the shifting and wobbling of the branch makes it give, and it snaps beneath Finn's feet. He cries out and falls, whacking a banch or two on the way down, the wind knocked out of him. It's painful; he can't find air. He chokes on his own gasps, half-hanging upside down by his long legs tangled in branches up a couple levels from where he fell. He's stuck. He's cramping. He can't breathe.

"Hang on, did you hear that?" comes Puck's voice. "I'm gonna go check it out. Keep watch out the window, okay, Artie?"

In moments, Finn is reeling in breath after a few coughs and wheezes, and he feels the full force of his surely cracked rib and the poking of the broken branch by his ankle, cutting into it. He hears someone approaching.

"Holy shit! Finn, what the fuck are you doing up there? Are you hurt, man?" Puck hollers, running toward the tree.

"It's Finn?" Artie calls down from the window. "What's he doing? What's going on?" he asks, utterly confused.

"I'm sorry," Finn breathes as Puck climbs up the tree and hesitates a moment, hands shaking, as he tries to reason out where he start. He goes about lifting Finn's hanging torso and head to rest on a sturdy nearby branch as he slowly untangles Finn's lower limbs. He eases Finn down out of the tree prior to jumping down himself.

"What were you doing up there? And are you okay, do I need to, like, get someone? Your ankle is bleeding."

"I'll be fine," Finn says shakily as adrenaline slowly recedes from his veins. "I'm sorry," he repeats, "'Cause I was spying on you guys. I was… um. Well. Jealous, I guess. Of what you guys have together."

Puck laughs nervously. "What are you going on about, Finny-boy? Don't tell me you love me or something, because that might just mess us up."

Finn rubs the back of his neck and limps beside Puck on his way toward the dormitory building. "Heh heh, no. I don't, like, have feelings for you – or him – like that. I just mean… I miss our friendship, that's all. You're my wingman, you know that? The only real friend I have left. My best one. And I miss us getting along and having fun like we used to. It's like I don't even know how to have that anymore, but you have it so easy with Artie. So I kind of followed you today to see why, like if you guys were dating or something, I don't know."

Puck laughs as they head into the elevator in the building and ride it up to the third floor to ease the pain in Finn's twisted ankle. "Well, uh, firstly, Artie brings out the nerd in me, so we just have fun paling around doing goofy shit together that isn't your style. And B, we're not, like, dating. Um. That's weird. We like chicks. So if you just want more time with me, I think we can try and find stuff all three of us can do, you know? Artie's not bad for some sports, you know. He was in football, and he can play decent basketball. He can join us in the stuff we do together, so that way, I'm hanging out with both of you without letting the other down. All right?"

The elevator pings and they get off, headed for Puck's door. "Yeah, all right."

"We cool, then?" Puck says, holding out his first as Artie opens the door for them, having heard the elevator. He has one hand on a wheel and the other on the doorknob, his face scrunched up in amused puzzlement, his eyes flickering between the two behind his glasses.

"Yeah, we're cool," Finn smiles lopsidedly, pounding Puck's fist and turning to face Artie. "Sorry I got jealous of you for stealing Puck."

Artie's face clears of confusion as he brain works it out. He smiles, waves it off. "Nah, it's cool. Envy is a green-eyed, cruel bitch, though, isn't it?" he adds, gesturing with humor to Finn's ankle as he wheels aside and makes room for the two jocks to enter.

Finn laughs at that before wincing. "Yeah, it is. Speaking of which… Can I use your bathroom? And please tell me you have band-aids."

Puck shakes his head, grinning. "Yeah. Miles wants to be a chef, the weirdo, so he's in cooking class and he cuts and burns himself all the time, so we have plenty. Use what you need, then come watch our Red Bull-fueled marathon of Indiana Jones movies with us, got it?"

"As long as we don't watch the fourth one. Aliens in Indiana Jones is blasphemy, and I hate Shia Labeouf."

Artie stares as Finn long after he disappears into the cramped, showerless bathroom. "Preach it, Finn! You know, I think you have some nerd in you after all."

From the bathroom, they just hear the echo of snickering.


End file.
